Fluffy and George on Jack-o'-Lanterns

 

 



The U.S. Dept. of Energy

claims that jack-o'-lanterns

are contributing to global

warming.

 

 

 

 

 

 







Let me guess.

All those little candles

inside the pumpkins

burning at the same time

super heat the earth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No. Pumpkins decaying in

landfills make methane which

is now considered more dangerous

than carbon dioxide.

 

 

 

 

 

So you can't compost them.

  Because of methane.

  Can't eat them.

Methane.

 

 

 

 

 

Yep.  More dangerous

than greenhouse gas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We seem to be painted

into a corner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good thing the

globe is round.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 39

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  Today's question involves the whereabouts of a snake named Elvis.  Some Floridian harboring a death wish has been harboring a Cobra.  On or about September 1st the Cobra escaped.

A couple days later, snake boy reported the missing Cobra.  Soon, folks in Orlando tread with trepidation, school children were denied recess.  Snake fear specifically, and in general, reached new heights thanks to a guy who let his highly venomous pet go on walkabout. 

About a month later, the Cobra turned up and was corralled by animal control. Where was the snake finally found?

Bryan?

 

Behind the wheel of a Ford Cobra?

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  incorrect. 

Fluffy?

 

 

 

 

 

In the company of a gang of sewer alligators?

 

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

Cyndi?

 

 

 

 

 

In a child's backpack?

 

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  incorrect.  You have to wonder if this guy will get in trouble for endangering people and inconveniencing children.  He was charged by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission for waiting more than two days before reporting the snake missing.  He has pled not guilty.  If it goes to trial, perhaps Elvis will be called as a character witness.

 

 

Where was the snake called Elvis found?

Bryan?

 

 

 

 

 

Working in a pet store in Kalamazoo?

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

Molly?

 

 

 

 

 

Hiding in a squirrel's nest? 

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

Fluffy?

 

 

 

 

 

In a laundry basket waiting

 to be charmed out of a pile of clothes?

 

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  close enough.

 

 

 

 

Here's what happened.  A woman living about a half mile from where Elvis the Cobra escaped, was doing some laundry in her garage.  She heard a curious hissing sound.  Upon investigation, she discovered the missing snake coiled and annoyed under her dryer.

 

Animal control officers caught the snake but it was too large for their snake cage so they put it in a cat cage.  Elvis is said to be somewhere between 8 and 10 feet in length.

 

So ends another round of Pop Culture Frenzy.

 

 

 

 

 

Round 39 

Fluffy/Molly  17

Bryan/Cyndi   15

 

 

 

 

 

They Found Me

There are many things about living in suburbia that I do not miss.  For instance, the common occurrence whereby a car stuffed with people parks on the street. The people pile out.  After a brief huddle, they break into pairs and each pair heads off in a different direction.

That's right.  Jehovah Witnesses doing their thing.

Now that I am living rural, I figured the JW wouldn't bother bothering me anymore.

Not so.

Even though my house is some distance from the road, indeed, is barely visible from the road, still they came.  A car stuffed with people. 

I saw the car and went out to see who they were.  The car was pulling away.  A young man in the passenger seat told me they left me a pamphlet.

Sure enough.  There was a pamphlet on the back porch.  "Where can we find answers to life's big questions?" asks the pamphlet in bold letters.

On the next page, you are invited to visit the JW web site for the answers.  JW don't even bother to talk to us non JWs anymore.  They've got a website!  Must be quite the time saver.

The car stuffed full of JWs drove away before I could ask each one of them for their home address.

I was thinking of showing up uninvited at each of their homes and leaving a Rosary on their back porch.

Day Laborers

There are many grasshoppers and crickets and spiders to be eaten. 

It's a big job.  The staff can barely keep up.

 

 

 

 

 

Some neighbor ducks came over to help out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This turkey work crew came out of the woods.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later, the neighbor ducks headed back across the road.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The turkeys went back into the woods. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The staff went to the break room.

 

Clover's Intestinal Adventure

In the course of picking it up, you can't help but observe it's, shall we say, integrity.   The consistency of Clover's efforts went from soft serve to slurpy.

Being a puppy and all, the first thing suspected is worms.  Clover is now five months old, she's been wormed, dewormed, her poop examined for wormage.  There's a parasite called Giardia that is hard to see -even if you whip it around in a centrifuge and look at it under a microscope. The veterinarian explained that the presence of Giardia is so difficult to confirm that you must get three negatives to diagnosis it.  (Should that be three positives?)

The vet also perkily exclaimed that LaGuardia is why you don't drink the water in Mexico. 

Clover was given some medicine called Metronidozole that smells like bacon.  The condition of her bowel movements vastly improved.  Once the medication was gone, her poop grew loose.

Periodic diarrhea is the hallmark of VincentGardenia, Perky Vet informed.  Thus, here comes another course of bacon flavored medicine.  Happily, Clover enjoyed having the liquid Metronidozole squirted into her mouth.  The other dogs seemed to want some too.  It's true about bacon and dogs.  Even if it's artificial bacon in what the vet techs call a suspension.

Clover, to her credit, did not taunt them with bawk bawk bawk.

We went through this unpleasant cycle of good poop/bad poop till Perky Vet was forced to announce that maybe the problem isn't Gargantua at all.  It could be that Clover is allergic to her food.  It's a common problem, usually they grow out it.  In fact, Perky Vet checked the online message boards and found some 1500 dog owners living this same bowel adventure.  Even they're saying that most dogs grow out of it!

Meanwhile we must try different food.  Usually it's the protein source that's the problem (though some dogs are allergic to wheat.  Reassuringly, most dog foods don't contain wheat).  Fine.  Clover has been eating a chicken and rice food, we'll switch to lamb and rice and see if that helps. 

Here we go again.  The other dogs notice that Clover is getting a different food.  They again want to know, what gives?

Clover, to her credit, bawk bawk bawked just a little.





















In addition to different food, we've added Probiotics.  Wait, the dog food contains probiotics.  Won't that do?  No.  Perky Vet has a special probotic with a dash of keopectate in chewable form that tastes good.  It may not be suspended bacon, but the other dogs are yet again asking, what gives?

And there's another cycle in the wind.

Walking Sticks

There are different kinds of walking sticks.  For example.





 Fancy Cane

 

Shillelagh

 

This guy

 

 

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 38

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  Today's question involves naming a mountain.

The tallest mountain in North America is located in Alaska.  Since 1896 the mountain has been called Mount McKinley.  The mountain has been recently renamed.  What is this mountain's name now?

Molly?

 

Because It's There?

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  motivation for the ages.  Incorrect.

 

Bryan?

 

 

 

 

Leon Czolgosz?

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  Leon Czolgosz?

 

 

 

 

 

He's the man who shot William McKinley.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that's celebrating

 gun culture in a big way!

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's not funny Fluffy.

William McKinley would

still be alive if guns

weren't so prevalent

in this country.

 

 

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  ahem.

 

Cyndi?

 

 

 

 

 

Mt. Denali.

That's what the native

Alaskans used to

call it.  President

Obama is giving

them back their name.

 

 

 

 

Hostmaster:  basically correct.  The state of Alaska has been attempting to change the name of the mountain back to Denali since 1975.  Some folks in Ohio have fought the name change because it honors former president McKinley who was from Canton, OH.  It seems that legally renaming a mountain requires lots of procedures like creating a bill, voting on it, getting enough votes to pass it, and so on.

Then again, Barack Obama has his phone and his pen.  Presto chango.  The name change is done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, the native Alaskans who hold the title to thousands

 of acres want to drill for oil on that land.  They are being kept from
 doing so because their land is also government park land.
  Apparently the federal government has veto power over what

native Alaskans can do on or with "their" land. 

 

 

 

 

Not much has been in the news about the meeting between President Obama and the native Alaskan leaders other than the mountain's name.  Word is though, that native Alaskans were far more interested in discussing the use of their land than in what the federal government calls the mountain.

 

 

 

 

 

 After changing the mountain's name, Obama
schooled Alaskans on climate change.  You know, climate

change is a greater threat than terrorism!

Naturally, fossils fuels are
a no-no in Obama's fundamentally
transformed America.

 

  What are the odds the native Alaskans
will be allowed to use their land as they choose?

 

 

 

 

 

As high as Denali?

 

 

 

 

 

So ends another round of Pop Culture Frenzy.

 

 

 

 

 

Round 38

Fluffy/Molly  16

Bryan/Cyndi  15