Sunday, December 31, 2017

Happy New Year

This Christmas Cactus bloomed on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It's worked up another set of buds for New Year's.

Here at the homestead, we've been enjoying icy temperatures, snow and sunshine which spawns gorgeous sparkly snow.  Alas, this photo makes it look like an unpainted wall. 

New Year Resolution suggestion for Clover.  Move to an unoccupied room before farting.

New Year Resolution suggestion for Lily.  Stop playing truffle pig with frozen poop.  Your breath is horrific.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.

-Proverbs 3: 5-6

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Joy to the World

The Shepherds and the Angels 

And in that region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear.

 And the angel said to them, "be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people, for to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger."

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,  "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom he is pleased!"

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us."

And they went with haste, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger.

- Luke 2:8-17

Did the shepherds take their flocks
with them to Bethlehem?

Probably.  Or maybe an angel
stayed with their flocks
till they returned.

I like to think the sheep got to
 come along to meet baby Jesus.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 65

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  Lately, Florida has been a hotbed of fodder for us.  Today's question comes from Miami.

Security dogs reacted to one of the crates waiting to be opened for an art show.
What was in the crate?

A bomb made of
manatee farts?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

It was a case of mislabeling.
The crate contained the
caterer's cheese tray, 
 so attractive that it was
 mistaken for art.

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

A picture of
Donald Trump
submerged in urine?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

Squirrels made a nest
out of the packing material?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.  Turns out it was a painting called Punk Hillary featuring Hillary Clinton clad in purple and sporting pink hair.

I know what the dogs
reacted to!  Chicken blood 
was used to color the pink hair!

Come on!
 It's called Punk Hillary not 
Voodoo Hillary.

Hostmaster:  so the crate probably smelled of cigarette smoke.

A yucky smell.
That would explain it.

Says the girl who ate something
she couldn't identify off 
of the floor.

Careful, we'll hurt Cyndi's
feelings.  Her perfume is called
Virginia Slims. 

It's better than smelling
like dog, Fluffy.

I don't agree.

 Me neither.

Me neither.

Smell my indifference.
This round is over.

Round 65
Fluffy/Molly  32
Bryan/Cyndi   29

See what was inside the crate.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 64

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  Today's question involves an incident that occurred one night last week in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.

It seems an opossum broke into a liquor store.  What happened?

The possum stole a gift
basket and delivered it
to his woodland friends?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

He ate rat poison and died?

Whoa.  And you 
call me dark.

Hostmaster:  incorrect.  Well, Cyndi's answer is, anyway.

Noticing the store's 
antiquated style of bookkeeping, 
the opposum updated their system.  

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

The opossum got drunk
on Rusty Nails?

Hostmaster:  close enough.  The opossum got into the store from the roof, climbed down some shelves, knocked over a bottle of bourbon.  The next morning an employee found the animal lying beside the empty bottle, glassy eyed and drooling.  The cops took the drunken opossum to the Emerald Coast Wildlife Refuge where she was dried out.

So the possum is OK?

Hostmaster:  yes.  After two days she recovered the effects of the booze-up, no charges were filed for the B&E.   She is now at large.

Is she pretty?  Maybe she could star in 
one of those obnoxious ads urging moderation.  

They ought to photograph her 
backside with the caption,
"A Cautionary Tail"

So ends another round.  
Read about Miss Opossum's wasted adventure here.

Round 64
Fluffy/Molly   32
Bryan/Cyndi    29

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

We'll See What We Can See

This year for our anniversary gift, The Handsome One and I got ourselves a nifty pair of binoculars. 

Now, instead of imagining what things in the distance look like, we can actually see what they look like.

Yes, we'll see the white of their tails and the whites of their eyes!

We got a simple pair of binoculars; point and shoot, so to speak.  The owners manual that came with the binoculars offered helpful advice (in two languages and with pictures).  For example:  don't drop the binoculars, don't look into the sun. 

Clearly, things are looking up.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

-Psalm 133.1  

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Worries on the Line

Duck keepers are always concerned about duck safety.  Some things you can't control, some you can, some you hope for the best.

Ducks love to thrust their beaks into the dirt and hunt for bugs and worms.  I don't worry much about stale worms or even how the ducks are trashing the lawn.  I do worry about predators.  Fences keep the ducks from wandering into the tall grass or woods to be taken out by a fisher or fox.  Locking them in a sturdy house at night keeps the raccoons and other nocturnal riffraff from getting to them.

Sounds good.  But what about danger from above?  The house keeps owls away at night but what about diurnal birds of prey?

I've tried netting.  It's the stuff you use over blue berry bushes to keep the birds from eating all the berries.  Trouble is, the netting twisted and tore every time it had to be moved.  Then I read (I think in Grit magazine) something that an old chicken farmer has been using for years. He runs a few strands of fishing line from the bird house to the fence in a sort of  sliced pie configuration.  The theory is that raptors, with their keen eyesight, see the strands and avoid them.

Dipping into my tackle box, I rigged up a multi line gizmo and set it up. 

I worry though.  How do we know if it works?

Friday, November 10, 2017

Henry vs The Itch

Poor Henry.  It's not easy being a small dog in a big dog household. As if that wasn't enough of a load for his scrawny shoulders to bear, a few weeks ago, Henry got itchy.

 At first we thought it was seasonal allergies.  Alas, his symptoms did not abate when the crud in the air changed from ragweed to leaf mold.  Hoping to ease his tender skin, Henry was given organic non soap free range rosemary baths.  (The little weirdo is probably allergic to rosemary.)  This bath protocol had no effect.  Next we tried a soothing oatmeal bath.  All that effort gained us nothing more than a clean Pomeranian.

Half of a child's dose of generic benadryl seemed to help a little.

Then, dandruff appeared.

We got serious: coal tar shampoo.

There does seem to be a reduction in both the itching and the dandruff.

In other good news, there is a decidedly positive side effect of coal tar.  Henry has never smelled more manly.