Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 61

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  Something rather extraordinary occurred in Worms, Germany to a guy working out at a gym.

What happened?

He got pinned under a set of princess dumbbells?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

He got offered a modeling contract?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

He fell on the treadmill and got
 his tongue caught in the gears?

Hostmaster:  close.  Well, in a way.  Here's a hint.  Weight plate.

I sure hope I'm wrong.
He inserted his member in
the weight plate hole?

Hostmaster:  correct.  You might call it an exclusive membership.

A musclehead's knothole!

There's a hole,
 there's a hole, there's a hole!

How did he get, um, out of the weight plate?

The excitement waned and he faded
into Worm history!

Hostmaster:  not exactly.  He required some help from firemen and their tools.  Here's a visual.

I predict that new warning labels
will appear in weight rooms all
over the world.

This round is over.
Read about the gym rat's adventure here.

Round 61
Fluffy/Molly  29
Bryan/Cyndi   25

Monday, September 18, 2017

Adventures of the Updating Profile Pic, Part 2

Clearly, my visage isn't the star of the show.  Never was.  My mother took a pictures of me every year on my birthday.  Alas, there were probably two pretty good pics out of fifty.  My high school pictures had to be retaken because none of the shots were any good the first time around.  And that involved a professional photographer.  History paints a bleak picture.

What does all this mean for the future of my profile picture?  Well...

We could try random things that are pretty.

We could try random things that are disturbing.

Perhaps random things that have little meaning.

Speaking of disturbing and of little meaning.  Consider my "art".

Wait.  How about this? Self portrait without mirror.

Maybe this?  Self portrait with mirror.

Unfinished.  The result of trauma.  You'd be traumatized too if you discovered at such a late date that you had a WC Fields nose.

Maybe this would better.  Portrait of Malcom without mirror.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Time for an Updated Photo

 Help me decide on a new profile picture.  Cast your vote now!  Vote early and often!

I rather like this one.  You can't see my wrinkles or my big butt.  Unfortunately, you can't see Clover either.

Lily looks good in this one.  Come to think of it, maybe she should write this blog too.

How about this one?     I call it:   Lynn, Armed with only a Sawzall, Bags her Limit.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Fresh from the Homestead

There's some good harvesting going on.

Can't beat a summer salad of tomatoes, cucumbers and duck.

Sounds good!  Wait.  What?!

Tuesday, August 29, 2017


Things are in gloom here at the Bad Dog Ranch.

Last week we said good-bye to our dear old friend, Lois.

We miss sweet Lois.

We will always miss sweet Lois.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Fluffy and George, Eclipsed

When it happens, we're not
supposed to look at it.

It's too bright.

Like the Son.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 60

Welcome once again to pop Culture Frenzy.  Let's go directly to our question.

A Colorado couple was rudely awakened one recent early morning by their SUV.  What happened?

The lunar eclipse set off
the vehicle's alarm?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

While everybody was distracted
by the eclipse, space alien convicts
 escaped and come to earth.
After crashing their space craft, 
they took the SUV, planning to flee to
the mountains.

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

Their dog used the SUV
to chase squirrels?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

A homeless person needing
shelter was sleeping in
the SUV?

It's August.  Wouldn't the
homeless person be more comfortable
outside of a stuffy vehicle?

There are lots of bugs in
August, even during a 
lunar eclipse.  

Hostmaster:  Bryan?

Their teenager took the SUV
for a joyride.  His parents awoke to witness
him racing up and down the street 
spinning donuts on the neighbors' lawns.

Hostmaster:  close enough.  Here's what happened.  A bear entered the SUV and managed to get it into neutral.  The vehicle rolled down the driveway, took out a mailbox and a utility box.  Not only was the SUV totaled on the outside, the inside was trashed too.  The culprit was not found at the scene but was identified by a poop sample he left behind.

The bear was probably just trying
 to get away from bugs.

Nah.  Evil space aliens used
the moon's eclipsted rays
to control the bear.

This round is over.
Read about the joyrider here.

I can understand borrowing
an SUV, but pooping in
it is going too far.

Round 60
Fluffy/Molly  29
Bryan/Cyndi   24

Friday, August 4, 2017

Blame it on the...

Sweating like a horse.  August smaugust.

OK.  Take comfort in snap dragons and lemon verbena.

Pretty pretty weeds.  No.  Those are wild flowers.

Feeling better already.

Wait.  Uh oh.

Phooey.  Time to retreat to the nice cool house.

I really should be out there pulling weeds.  Oy.

Move over, Clover.  That couch is calling me.

Blame it on the heat.  Blame it on the sun.  Blame it on the Bossa Nova.