Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 24

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  Let's get on with our question.

Most of you commoners are no doubt unaware of a major breakthrough in luxury toothpaste.  A company called Theodent has presented a fabulous new flavor of toothpaste that can best be described as a sweet dream come true. 

What flavor is this incredible toothpaste?

Hostmaster:  incorrect. 
You are thinking with your dog palate.  I gave you a hint.  Sweet.  Try again.
OK.  Let's see, sweet. 
Hostmaster:  incorrect.  But nice try.
Hostmaster:  incorrect.
Hostmaster:  correct.
That can't be good for your teeth.
Ya think? 
It's not chocolate like a candy bar.
  The flavor comes from a substance found in the cacao plant
which is where chocolate is derived.
Theodent mixed this substance with some mineral
that will presumably strengthen tooth enamel.  The actual
ingredients are patented and therefore secret.
You are expected to take on faith that this cacao mix
is a better way to brush.  It's great for the whole
family!  It's OK to swallow! 
No dangerous fluoride side effects!
Available at Whole Foods for
 just $99.99 per tube!
Trust us!
  After all, POTUS buys
his arugula at Whole Foods.
Be sweet to your teeth!
Buy a tube today! 
 if it sounds too good to be true
it's worth the hefty price tag!
Sigh.  So ends this round.
  I've got a hankering for chocolate.
  Who's up for Mozart Black shots? 
Round 24
Fluffy/Molly    13
Bryan/Cyndi   10 

Friday, April 4, 2014

Yes we have no available Puppies

The death of a dog is never easy.  There is an emptiness that begs to be filled.  No dog is replaceable, of course.  But life goes on, as they say.  Puppies are cute.  They are also annoying and time consuming.  While you are grieving, the demands of a puppy can prove wonderfully distracting and fulfilling.

Thus, The Handsome One and I visited a local rescue group and submitted an application.  We alerted our veterinarian's office, giving our permission for them to talk behind our backs to a representative from the rescue group.

The rescue group committee approved our application and invited us to make an appointment to pick out a puppy.  We did.

This rescue group has a storefront where they display the adoptable animals.  Cats and kittens occupy the front area.  Through a double door into another room, you find dogs and puppies.  We'd seen some pictures of the "available" puppies on the rescue group's website.  I recognized some of those puppies there, waiting behind bars, including puppy x.

With a volunteer hovering over us, we met some of the puppies.  Eight week old puppies are not accustomed to being on a leash but we had to attempt to get to know each youngster while he was more focused on the strange thing around his neck then on us.

A placard accompanied every enclosure offering a name and description of the occupant.  There was an Akita/Boxer puppy in the first cage.

There were two runts in the second cage (one of them puppy x), three other pups in another cage, all from the same pit bull mix litter.  Our esteemed volunteer had been fostering this litter.  She told us a little about the personalities of the individual pups and advised that these puppies were accustomed  to being in a home with dogs and kids and whatnot.  Yes, yes.  Early socialization.  Very good.

I asked how it is that they know so specifically what is in the mix of these rescued puppies.  Reluctantly admitting she knew nothing about the Akita/Boxer, our volunteer raised her nose to reveal a virtue clearly greater than ours, saying that the pit bull mother was chained to a basement wall left on her own.  Then the owners got tired of caring for the puppies and gave them to the rescue. 

Um.  Huh?

We met about four puppies.  Just as we were declaring that we liked puppy x the best, a large woman with a meritorious demeanor entered the room.  She and our volunteer huddled out of earshot.  Then our volunteer returned to tell us that puppy x was not available after all.  Oops.  Sorry.  She usually knows everything that is going on with HER fosters.  But we can pick another! 

Is this is why pet shops still sell puppies?

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Friday, March 21, 2014

Rose is Gone


Rose lived with us for sixteen years.  We knew this day was coming.  You'd think that would make it a little easier.  It doesn't.  

You always hope that your dog will go gently in her sleep.  Rose went lying on a silver table with kindly people cooing at her.

Rose never like to be cooed at.  They didn't know that.  They were just trying to make it less awful.  I stood there and rubbed Rose's neck.  She always liked neck rubs.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Breed Profile: German Shepherd Dog

The German Shepard Dog was originally used as a herder.  This dog's work ethic was so impressive, soon the GSD was offered other jobs.

Ever indomitable, the intelligent, strong, energetic GSD continues to tackle all and sundry responsibilities asked of him.

The list of GSD accomplishments/abilities is long.  Here are a few: police dog, therapy dog, search and rescue, narcotics detection, explosive detection, guide dog, war dog, dock diving, lure coursing, show dog, companion, professor of anthropology (just kidding).

GSD are serious dogs, highly motivated for meaningful activity.  They are extremely loyal and protective of their families, suspicious of strangers, smart, confident, a bit bossy, not inclined to tolerate clowns.

Some German Shepherd Dog Facts

-  also known as:  Alsatian, German Shepherd, Shepherd Dog

-  life span:  10-12 years

-  average age of maturity:  1.5 years

-  height at shoulder:  22-26 inches

-  weight:  60-95 pounds

-  double coat, colors:  black and tan, black, white, black and silver, black and cream, black and red

German Shepherd Manifesto
-  yes, I shed.  Everyday. Deal with it.
-  another dog is unnecessary.  You have me.
-  give me something to do.  Otherwise I will find something to do.  I'll start with reorganizing the kitchen cupboards, redecorating the bathroom, herding the neighborhood children, disconnecting the cable...

Monday, March 10, 2014

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 24

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  Let's get on with it.

Oscar Meyer has introduced a new app.  What is it?

Images of hot dogs with mustard?
Hostmaster: incorrect.
Hot dogs are bad for you.
Oscar Meyer should encourage
people to eat vegetables. 
 They won't because
they are motivated by greed.
Hostmaster:  incorrect.

The Oscar Meyer Wiener song?
Hostmaster:  incorrect.
Braunschweiger molded into
 a pig shape?  No, wait. 
I know!  Bacon!
Hostmaster:  correct.  It's the Wake up and Smell the Bacon app.  It features the sound and aroma of bacon cooking in a pan.
A friend of mine got to preview this Bacon app.
  There's a special device needed to activate
 the smell.  My friend says the odor is
more old pig farmer's boots
than bacon.  The
bacon sizzling sound is
pretty good though.
I need this app.  Those idiots
messed with the clocks again.
I'm a bird of the lark style
for crying out loud.  I
need light in the morning to
wake up and sing. 
What in tarnation do
I need another hour of light
at night for?
Round 24
Fluffy/Molly   12
Bryan/Cyndi    10

Friday, March 7, 2014

More about Rose

According to the chart on the wall of the exam room, Rose is about 81 in people years.

Why were we at the vet, you ask?

  Rose was due for her Rabies vaccination.  Also the city where we live is hankering for twenty dollars to renew the dog license  (it used to be 10 dollars.  I'm old school math, so I recognize that as a 100% increase).

A dog must have a rabies vaccination to get the dog license.  It's the law.

Worried that another vaccination might kill the elderly Rose, I actually considered lying to the city.  I figured I'd tell the city Rose was dead.  They'd take her out of their computer.  Then Rose could live out her days protected by the antibodies that remain in her bloodstream from all those previous vaccinations.  She would die of something else, maintaining her record of not posing a public threat to anyone or anything.

I couldn't go through with it.  The lie, I mean.  The Vet says that the rabies vaccination contains dead bugs so it is easier for the body to handle than vaccines that contain live bugs.

The doctor examines Rose.  Her heart is strong.  Her pupils do not dilate with vigor but she can, at least presumably, see.  Somewhat.

 Yes.  That's what I think too.  Sometimes you have to call to her, stomp on the floor or nudge Rose and sort of steer her in the direction you think she needs to go.  

Ultimately, it doesn't matter if Rose can see or not.  She knows her way around the house.  We won't change the furniture arrangement.  And we will be there to guide her when Rose must venture away from home.

Rose is thinner than she used to be.  Many elderly mammals are thus.  Her appetite is less enthusiastic.

We offer Rose a greater variety of foods now to try to entice her to eat.  We place the food in assorted bowls and plates, some elevated, some on the floor.  This way Rose can bend and eat or sit and eat- whatever is more comfortable for her creaky bones.

Rose got the shot yesterday.  She seems fine today.  I'll head over to City Hall this afternoon and give them $20 for the privilege to keep her.   

Friday, February 28, 2014

Rose of Sharon, Team Player

This winter has been particularly snowy and cold.  We got several inches of snow, than several more.  Unlike most winters around here, there was no thaw in between snowfalls.  This makes things more challenging for the critters living out there.  Such as the rabbit living in my backyard, for instance.

It is not unusual for rabbits to eat of the burning bush or other assorted plants during winter.  This year though, the rabbit has turned a number of Rose of Sharon saplings into what looks like toothpicks after being dropped into a garbage disposal.  I refuse to take a picture of this Rose of Sharon graveyard.

There are several Rose of Sharons in my yard of varying height.  (Fully grown Rose of Sharon trees are about 10 feet tall).  These little trees seed themselves.  Therefore, there are little shoots growing around the full grown trees that, under ordinary circumstances, are considered weeds.  Last fall, however, I saved a good many shoots and scattered them around a big section of the yard.  See, the neighbor cut down a bunch of weed trees that had shaded that big section of the yard for some years.  This lack of sun killed the shrubs that used to grow there.  With the weed trees gone, we now have part sun, where there had been full shade.  My plan to move hostas and ivy and ferns to that area had to be altered.  Thus, there were numerous pencil thick Rose a Sharon saplings sticking up through the snow. 

How many remain?  We'll have to wait till spring to find out.
One thing is for sure.  The Rose of Sharon have taken a hit for Team Rabbit.