Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Henry is a Teenager

Little dogs grow faster than big dogs, maybe because they have less growing to do.  Well, not to them.  Anyway, a toy breed dog reaches physical maturity at about nine months of age.  A giant breed dog finishes growing at around two years of age. 

Henry, at five months, weighs a whopping 6.6 pounds.  At nine weeks, he weighed 3 pounds.   

Henry is leggy, his torso is longer now.  The other day while wet from a bath, he resembled a Rat Terrier.  How very symbolic in this stage of Henry's development.  (Massive heartfelt apologies to all Rat Terriers!)

So, we're in the yard.  Henry moves his gangly self under the bird feeder and immediately finds something with his mouth. 

What is it that he is about to swallow?  A stick perhaps, that will poke a hole in his intestine?  Some bird poop carrying a bird disease against which his young immune system cannot fight?  

I bellow, "drop it!"  Henry knows the 'drop it/leave it' command. 

The mystery substance still in his mouth, he looks me in the eye, then squats to pee.  Such a good boy does his business outside.  He moves his gangly self to a flowerbed...  

Monday, July 28, 2014


Just a couple brief remarks in between doing the myriad stuff that needs to be done with an impending  move.

Shortly before the lock box was placed on our front doorknob, I got my hair cut.  After telling my hair dresser that we were about to put our home up for sale, she looked off pensively for a moment.  Then she said, "don't worry about it.  Your house will sell in one day."
There are some things I will miss when we move:  the backyard pond, the master bathroom, the bird store, and my hair dresser.    

Friday, July 4, 2014

Breed Profile: Boxer

The Boxer is an athletic amiable dog, prone to antics. 

Due to his strength, eagerness to do things with his people and a short nose allowing for a good grip, the Boxer was originally used to hunt and hold large prey such as bears, wild boar and deer.  In Germany during the 19th century, the Boxer worked with police, performed in circuses and as Butcher's Dogs, their job to keep cattle in slaughter yards under control.

During the World Wars, Boxers served as pack-carriers, sentries and messengers.

Some Boxer Facts

- life span:  10-12 years

- height at shoulder:  21-25 inches

- weight:  50-80 pounds

- the coat is short and smooth.  Colors:  fawn, brindle, with or without white and black markings

Boxers are cheerful sturdy dogs that enjoy being with children.  They usually do OK with other dogs but can sometimes be aggressive with dogs of the same sex.  Cats and Boxers can live in harmony as long as they have been raised together.  Boxers tend to chase small animals such as rabbits and rats (even if you consider these creatures part of the family).

Boxer Manifesto

don't call me high strung.  I am exuberant.

-  I am not an outdoor dog, unless we're doing something fun together outside.  After-words, I expect to return with you to the comfort of your bed

-  those who call me stubborn are obviously not intelligent enough to merit my obedience

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 27

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.   Superpowers are a popular topic lately. 

In order to maintain the pretense that we care about current prattle, today we'll each explain which superpower we would choose to possess if we had the chance.

I want to be able to read
minds.  Then I could tell
when I'm up against
the narrow minded.
Hostmaster: oh boy.
Molly, what superpower would you want?
I would like the agility of a squirrel.
Not just any squirrel, though. 
A flying squirrel.
Hostmaster:  How about you, Bryan?
I want superpower to write aphorisms. 
Hostmaster:  so you want to be a writer?
I want to be a gnomist.
Hostmaster:  you're dreaming with the super heroes, pal.

I don't need a superpower. 
God has that covered.
You know, Fluffy.
 It's narrow minded people like you
 who ruin it for everybody.

Hostmaster:  oh boy.
Who do you think won this round?
God, of course.
You, da gnomist! 

Monday, June 16, 2014

Not so Alarming

The last few weeks have been a blur of hyper vigilance alternating with crazed inertia.  Truly, I'd forgotten the enormity of mental exhaustion that accompanies the presence of a young puppy in the home.  (It has been seven years since the last puppy!)

Henry is now about 14 weeks old.  He's getting the hang of things.  He knows his name.  He sits on command.  He has a good grasp on where the bathroom is, except now and then when he forgets.

Henry sleeps crated in the bedroom with us.  The other dogs sleep at large on various blankets that blanket the bedroom floor.  This arrangement makes it convenient to zip Henry outside during the night to relieve himself.  Yes.  Convenient.  Well, as convenient as can be expected as you stand in your nightgown on the lawn shining a flashlight beam on a squatting puppy, proclaiming in sleepy enthusiasm, "good boy!".

When the alarm goes off at 5:30am, lately, it feels earlier. 

Over the years, I've experimented with different sounds for the alarm clock.  Buzzers, bells, music.  Buzzers startle me.  Bells annoy me.  Music has the unfortunate tendency to stay in my head all day, a couple of bars repeating maddeningly.  I've finally found what works: the radio set on a talk station - but it must be in a language I don't understand.  This, curiously, is the most neutral way for me to wake.

How do you like to be awakened? 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Sven Swoons

Not much singing going on these days, following a huge spike in Canary music.  Why?  Spring hormones and whatnot.

The boys sang.  The girl tweeted (tweet, as in a bird's vocalization, not some electronic gadget's recording of someone's every fleeting notion).


The hen decides which male she wants for a mate. 


Kimber seemed to prefer Sven.  When Sven was placed in the cage with her.  He fainted.


In spite of this, Kimber layed an egg and sat on it for nearly two weeks.  She and Sven shared the cage with the egg.  A couple of times, briefly, Sven was seen spreading his wings in a manly display.  Kimber hissed at him.

The egg was found broken at the bottom of the cage.  Sven was relocated to his own cage.  He grew light headed upon arrival but did not faint.


Friday, May 30, 2014

New Resident, Bad Dog Ranch

How about them Cowboys?

What do Lois and Mabel think of this new creature?
Interloper.  Irritant.
He is called Henry.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 26

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  On to our question.

A Maine teenager was walking in a Florida park and decided to take a picture.  His first inclination was, naturally, to take a selfie.  Then he noticed a squirrel sitting on a nearby rail.  The teenager shoved his face up to the squirrel and snapped his selfie. 

What happened next?

The squirrel demanded payment for use of his image?
Hostmaster:  incorrect.
The picture has gone viral, raising awareness of the
need for conservation of the
squirrel's habitat?
Hostmaster:  incorrect.
The squirrel yelled for help. 
A bunch of his friends came and
wrestled the teenager to the ground.
They took his wallet and ran up
a tree.  Then they
chattered and taunted the kid by
tossing each item from the wallet on
his head?
Hostmaster:  incorrect.
A hawk swooped down and snatched the
 cell phone from the kid's hand.
  The hawk flew to a nearby swamp
and dropped the phone
into the water.  An
alligator then swallowed
the phone?
Hostmaster:  incorrect.
Nobody wins this round.
Here's what happened.
After the teenager snapped
 the picture, the squirrel leaped
on him and crawled
under his shirt.  The teenager
threw himself on the ground,
drop and roll style.  All the
while, the teenager's mother
 took video.  Finally, the
squirrel escaped
and fled.