Thursday, June 14, 2018

The Invasion of the Barn Swallows




At first I was delighted to see them.  April showers bring mosquitoes, after all, and these birds eat mosquitoes. Their flight patterns are amazing.  Surely, fighter jet designers used Barn Swallows as a pattern.  I welcomed their presence.  I applauded their efforts.







My admiration turned to something darker when a pair of Barn Swallows decided that the garage was a good place to build a nest.









Come on, I hear you ask.  What possible harm could there be in hosting a family of Barn Swallows in your garage?






For one thing, there's the little matter of the mess that birds tend to make.  There are limits to the sort of, er, material, I'm willing to allow on the seat of my tractor. A Pomeranian with a bad attitude is one thing.  Excrement is quite another. Those overhead lights are for illumination, not to provide a pallet for a nest made of mud.







That's right.  Mud.  Look, I'm not fastidious about my car.  We live on a dirt road, for crying out loud!  Still, dirt and mud on the hood of the vehicles that occurs INSIDE the garage, is a bit over the top.  Not to mention bird droppings on the tools hanging on the walls, on the assorted bins holding important things like duck food, homemade compost, seeds, and other stuff that's in that garage.  Furthermore, look at this!






Mr. Barn Swallow on top of a ladder!  What goes up must come down.  Poop is certainly no exception.






Let's let the late, highly revered, greatly missed and irrepressibly perspicacious Lester explain.  Lester in his ineffably calm way would say, "look, it's a garage.  It's your garage.  Just because these birds want to build a nest on the side of an overhead light doesn't make it a good idea.  Run them off. "






Alas, it isn't as easy as it sounds.  Those swallows are stubborn.  Not as stubborn as I am though!  They plop mud on the overhead light, I scrape it off.  Sometimes I get to it while it's still wet!    Heads up!  Swallow spit infused mud incoming!






Now you know why there are so many pictures of me wearing a hat.

















Learn more about Barn Swallows here.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 68

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy. Today's question involves someone named Rubble who recently celebrated his 30th birthday.



Who is Rubble and what is the big deal about his birthday?
Bryan?






Rubble must be a rap artist.
Thirty is a rare milestone 
for rap artists.




Hostmaster:  incorrect.
Cyndi?






Rubble is a transgendered individual who
bravely endured cruel treatment
from right wing bigots for staying
true to herself.





Hostmaster:  incorrect.
Fluffy?







Rubble is a nickname given to a
thirty year old tree that has grown
 wild in the middle of a landfill. 





Hostmaster:  incorrect.
Molly?






Rubble is a cat who lives in
England.  They're saying he's the
oldest cat in the world.  Actually,
the oldest cat was Cream Puff
who was 38 when he died. 





Hostmaster:  correct.





So how much is that in
people years?






I don't know what that means.






Molly doesn't understand anthropocentric
thinking.  It's one of her most
 endearing qualities.






Spoken like a true dog.







Yay!  Cat fight!







 This round is officially over.
  Unofficially, I say we finish this
 cat fight in a more suitable location.
  Let's reconvene at the bar down the street!











Round 68
Fluffy/Molly    34
Bryan/Cyndi     31








Read about Rubble here.