Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Return of the JWs

The bespectacled women of middle age wearing a modest skirt and boring blouse, brought to mind an old style schoolmarm.  There could be no mistaking what she really was though.  She got out of a car stuffed with people. 

They're baaack.

Some readers may recall, some months ago, I complained that the Jevoah Witness brigade found me here at the homestead.  Frankly, I'd forgotten about the intrusion until recently when they returned.  They've ramped up their efforts, before it was only pamphlets, now there's face time.

There's a sign on the fence near our back porch that reads:  Warning Bad Dog.  Schoolmarm asked if the dogs were indeed bad.  I said, of course not...towards those who belong here.  Schoolmarm looked confused.  Then she asked if I found comfort in God.  Of course, I said.  She said my neighbors didn't seek comfort in God.  Sorry to hear that, I said.  She read a line from one of Paul's letters off of a handheld gadget.  Then she gave me a pamphlet.

A couple months later as I was carrying groceries into the house, that car stuffed with people crept up the driveway.  The Schoolmarm got out.  I'm in the middle of taking in groceries, I told her.  This will just take a moment, she said. What do you think of when you think of Heaven? 

I said, I think about that part in Revelations at the throne and angels singing Holy Holy Holy.  I also like the lion laying down with the lamb stuff.  Where's that?  Isaiah?

She didn't answer.  She read a snippet from another of Paul's letters from a handheld gadget and gave me a pamphlet.

Later, I read the pamphlet.  There wasn't much information about Heaven.  The New Testament was put in quotes.  Jesus was referred to as Michael.  Then there was a wispy description of the qualifications of some guy with a French name who apparently did the translation of the Gospels for the JW's.  It was explained that the Catholics got the translations wrong because they clouded their thinking by studying philosophy. 

When the Schoolmarm comes back, I'm going to ask about her views on philosophy and if she noticed that Paul calls Jesus Jesus rather than Michael. 

And I'll wish her Merry Christmas.


  1. One of my cousins became a Jehovah's Witness when he got married. His wife and most of her family were Witnesses--except her late sister, who once confided that she was only a Witness when her mother was around. They tried to convert Mom, Dad, Collin and me, but Dad found a way to shut the cousin up. They don't believe in having a Christmas tree. When Dad saw Jeff coming up the walk, he'd have all of us get on our knees and bow to the Christmas tree.

    The cousin tried again after Dad died, but we decided to get rid of the cousin and keep the Christmas tree. Haven't seen him in 18 years.

    1. Weapon of choice: Christmas tree. I like that.

  2. My Mum was so lovely a real lady. But we had JW coming to our door all the time. She was polite but said no thank you.
    One day she was cooking dinner and the rice boiled over as she was trying to take care of the rice and the stove the doorbell rang. She was too busy to answer.
    Don't know why but whoever was there kept ringing the bell, till my Mum flung open the door to hear "God Saves" she replied "well he didn't save my dinner " and slammed the door.
    They never came back.
    I love my Mum !

    cheers, parsnip

  3. I remember once getting them at the door. I told them I was a devil worshipper in the midst of a blood sacrifice. They scrambled down the stairs and down the sidewalk. Never bothered me again.

    1. Excellent! Blood is scary. I missed my chance to threaten blood when Schoolmarm asked about my Bad Dogs. LOL

  4. I have a 'No Solicitors' sign above my door which helps deter many of the salespeople. But it doesnt have an effect on the JW. Last time they knocked I pointed to the sign above the door without saying a word. "Oh, we're not selling anything," she said. Oh really.

    1. They're selling something, that's for sure. It's hard not to suppose that they are so squirrelly about it because it's a hard sell.