Sunday, May 1, 2016

What's My Name

I've been married to The Handsome One for over twenty years. 


 
 
When we married, I kept my name.  This was not due to some notion of modern womanhood or  feminist whatnot.  I'd had the same name for 33 years, that name was who I was.  The name thing was non issue to THO.  Had children occurred, I would have changed the name.  Well.  Children did not occur. 
 
It is a little embarrassing to admit that a big reason I didn't change my name is that it was inconvenient.  You might say I kept my name out of laziness.  All this wouldn't matter now, if it were not that I seemed to have changed.
 
 
 
 
My identity is now very much THO's wife.  So.  Should I change my name 21 years after the wedding? 
 
 
 
 
There's something else.  The Handsome One's mother's name was Lynn too.  I never met my mother-in-law, she passed away before I met her son.  It felt wrong that our names be the same- like it was somehow disrespectful, audacious.  Now, I wonder if it would be in honor of her son, that fine man who is my husband, that I share her name.
 
 



 

11 comments:

  1. That's a bit of a dilemma. I think, perhaps, since you've had it this long and he's had no issue with it, that you might as well stick with it. Imagine the bureaucratic hassles of trying to change your name after all these years of marriage.

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  3. You should do what your heart tells you to do, you will always be you no matter what your last name is.

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    1. Thank you, Lisa. I know you are right. It's so nice to hear from you!

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    2. I miss you my dear friend, hopefully we can plan a get together in the near future.

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  4. Knowing what I know now ( I did not pick well) I would have kept my name and my own money and have residency outside of California.
    If it works for you and your husband just stay the way you are.
    Happy is happy.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Sorry to hear about your pick. You are right. Happy is happy.

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  5. I think you should do what's right for you.

    A couple of weeks ago, The Talk did a segment on procrastination. One of the hosts, Julie Chen, said that when she married, her husband insisted she take his name. She had no problem with it, but kept forgetting to do it. When their son was born, her husband was livid when he went to the nursery and found the tag on their son's bassinet read: BOY, CHEN.

    Better late than never!

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    1. Thanks, Norma. Ha! Maybe I ought to change my name to procrastination!

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  6. I kept my name, too. Although, I use Arkon as my seudonym.

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