Worse than Skunk

In the pantheon of bad odors, skunk spray ranks pretty high.  But there is a far worse stink than skunk oil.  Skunk poop or suspected skunk poop- at any rate, confirmed wild critter poop- is just about the worst thing I have ever inhaled. 

Naturally, because this smell is so awful, some dogs feel irresistibly inclined to roll in it.  This morning, one of my dogs did just that.  For reasons that we humans will never fathom, this dog opted to become one with the stench. So she rubbed her head on it, leaving a path of hellish rankness from her cheek down her neck all the way to her shoulder.

One of my other dogs pointedly sniffed at her neck, tattle tale syle.  This alerted me.  There was a dark smudge visible on her hair at the side of her neck.  I leaned in to sniff the smudge and almost threw up. The dog who committed this heinous roll will henceforth be referred to as Stinky.  We'll call her Stinky too.  That is, when we start speaking to her again.

The only, and I mean ONLY bright spot in this wretched episode is the fact that excrement washes out more readily than does the oily stuff that skunks spray.  Yes, for the horrific dung- lather rinse repeat x 3 did the trick.

By the way, for skunk spray clean up you'll need:  White vinegar or 3 % hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and dish detergent.  (The ratios are roughtly: 1 liter, 1/4 cup, 1 teaspoon.) Repeat lots of times.  Or call a professional.  Some companies have portable grooming stations inside a van which they'll park in your driveway while they deskunk your dog for you.

But if you're like me, you wash your own.  Therefore, I have a stash of assorted doggy shampoos always at the ready. To eradicate Stinky's impromptu putrid adventure, I went with a deodorant version offering a pleasing Cucumber Melon bouquet.

 I was framed!