Thirty Years Already?!

 So, it would seem.

We went big last year.  You know, the new furnace.

This year we will celebrate by painting the living room purple!

It's the Most Paranoid Time of the Year

 

Must be mid-November, she's donned the orange vest.  

I heard her telling a group of deer to stay close to the house.

Safety first here at Bad Dog Ranch!

Down Come the Rainbarrels

 The rain barrels must be taken down for the winter.  Frozen water doesn't flow.  My routine is to put them up around April Fool's Day and take them down around All Saints Day. 

These pictures are from August.

Sometimes the trail camera takes pictures of wind.  Rain is a little easier to see.

This runoff bucket is the reason the trail camera was positioned there.  My hope was that the camera would catch the culprit.  You see, every now and then this bucket is found lying on its side.  Who is doing it?  Alas. There are no pictures of anybody caught in the act.  Not even the wind.

Suspects abound.

Ducks like water but it's probably not them.

Not highly likely.

Other suspects:

Unlikely, a bucket is not her style.  She'd rather lick dew off the side of the rain barrel.

 

Maybe

Maybe

Don't know

Perhaps

Possible

Likely

We may never know.

It's Spooky Out There

 Lately, my trail camera footage has proved to be more intense than usual.

 

Sure, one spooky image is fun.

Two is a little bit disturbing.

Three?  Alarming.

Four?  Well, according to numerology, it's a no-nonsense number.  Hmm. How comforting.

They Tried to Warn Me

  

We all know that our world is full of germs, most of which you encounter on your kitchen counter.  Naturally, I’m concerned about the health and safety of my family.  Experts tell us that that sponge you use to wash dishes is not nice and clean from all that cleansing dish soap. 

That sponge is actually a vast growing medium for legions of dangerous pathogenic bugs.  Some people use a dish cloth instead.  They toss it in the wash machine after every use, or so they say.  Sure, you’re washing that cloth in hot water.  That ought to get it clean. Trouble is, you’re putting it in with other items that are also washed in hot water.  You know, like underwear.  After that, it’s clean enough to eat off of?  Or rub against things you’re going to eat off of?

Never mind, I prefer a sponge.  The size and girth of a sponge is simply superior for the job of washing dishes. Still, there’s the problem of how to clean the sponge.

Do Not put sponge in microwave!  That’s what the label on my favorite sponge four pack brand says.  It doesn’t say why.  I’ve wondered about that, but never deeply.  I developed a system for keeping the dangerous bugs off my sponges.  After washing the dishes, I would wring the sponge out (to the dampness of a perfect compost pile) and place it in the microwave.  I cannot recall how I came upon the ideal number of seconds to do the proper job of sanitizing the sponge, but it was under one minute.  

Foreshadow Alert!

Then we got a new microwave.  I hadn’t yet figured out how to make it run for a specific number of seconds so I just pressed GO and waited till the countdown of seconds reached the correct number, at which point I would open the microwave door and remove the sponge.  That worked fine till one day I pressed GO, then wandered away.

 A minute later, the microwave beep beep beeped to proclaim that where there is smoke, there is fire.  I opened the microwave door to dreadful smelling smoke and flames rising from the half gone blackened sponge.  I pulled the plate thing out of the microwave and carried the hostile festive sponge flambe’ onto the back porch and tossed it on the grass.  It kept burning till I flipped the plate thing over it.  Later, examining the carnage, it was clear that at least three quarters of the sponge had, well, melted away.

It was a new sponge too.  A purple one.  

Some Trail Camera Stuff!

Lily on point.

Henry after berry picking.  For some reason, he looks crazed.  Maybe it's because Lynn doesn't share.  

Dove Head with Distant Flowerpot

Deer contemplating a home invasion?

Mighty Buck 

Exciting News!

 

An excerpt of my novel is featured in the Penmen Review.

It's July

 Warm enough for Malcom to be outside.

The harvest is going strong: squash and peas and beans, tomatoes soon.  

We've had some nice wild mulberries and raspberries and blackberries this year.  Now the boysenberries are getting ripe!

Of course, there is still mowing to be done in summer.  

It's hot and hilly but the groundskeeper is unafraid.

GWEN

Ever hear of the G W E N system?  Those tower things that emit a low frequency sound?  They were purportedly set up in 1982 to communicate with those remaining after a nuclear attack or something else terrible.  You know, just in case.  Survivors would need to, you know, be informed.

But isn't it running all the time?  Wouldn't it HAVE to be?  You know, you never know when a big terrible will come.

Two attempts to post a picture of a GWEN Tower were thwarted....by whom....and why?

Anyway.  There is one of these things not far from the Bad Dog Ranch.  A scant forty miles away, it is constantly sending messages.

GWEN is perpetually beaming.  

And now it is violently present at my front window!  A local sparrow has been literally attacking the windows of my home for over a week.  He flies to the window, pecks at the glass, all while peering in with a wild light in his eyes.

Here's a picture of a sparrow taken a couple years ago.  

Of course, who's to say the crazed GWEN sparrow isn't a descendant of this seemingly innocent sane sparrow?  But I digress.

The bird should be focused on raising a brood, not bashing his beak against a living room window.  

Who's to say those mysterious ever-present frequencies haven't driven him mad?

Seems to me, you don't have to be a conspiracy theorist to find this whole thing unnerving.  

I don't know about this GWEN theory of hers.                  One thing's for sure, that bird is wacko.

Meanwhile in the Garden

 The two strawberry plants I put in last year are now about twenty.  Not wanting to share with the many birds and assorted omnivores around here, I encircled the strawberry patch with chicken wire.

Then I saw a baby bunny in the strawberry patch!

I let him off with a warning.

As for the potato bugs- 

no leniency.

A Spring in His Step

Early spring was, well, eventful.

The Handsome One had been having some troubling symptoms.  Eventually it was discovered that his aortic valve was not working properly.  Thus, they opened up his chest and put in a nice sturdy cow valve.

Some two months later, he is feeling better but is also feeling a bit antsy.  

Here he is doing some cardio rehab.

.

He wants to get back to pumping iron.  His pecs took quite a hit.

Spring is in the Air

Well, springish.  It is snowing right now.  March is what you might call a diverse month.

Still, birds are whooping it up out there.

  Soon there will be youngsters and green grass.  

'Tis a time to ponder...

The Perils of Updating

 Rant Alert!

I got a new email address.  Therefore, I have been updating it in various places.

  

You'd think this would not be a big deal.  It is though.

Some places just won't allow you to go to their site, find your personal information and edit your email.  So then, you must call.

Calling any business these days requires a major time commitment.  It starts with the heartless computer voice that answers the phone and asks you for information about who you are and what right you have to be calling at all.  Ten minutes later, you're done with that and find yourself on hold.  

Maybe five, maybe forty-five minutes later a human being answers.  They ask you the same questions the computer voice did.  You know, just to verify.  

You tell them you want to change your email.  They tell you they can't do that.  You ask why.  They say something vague, or their accent is so thick you are not quite sure what they said.  You are transferred to someone else.  You ask them if they can help you change your email.  They won't answer until you give them the same information you gave the computer voice and the first person you spoke to...  

Then there's updating your email for your blog.  Stupid technophobe that I am; I did it wrong.  Thinking I'm changing the email a "new improved format" appeared and the blog is gone.  It's a whole new account, a clean slate.  If I hadn't failed to erase my old email or account or whatever, I would not be typing this rant.

For crying out loud, I just thought it was a good idea to update my email.