Thursday, June 14, 2018

The Invasion of the Barn Swallows

At first I was delighted to see them.  April showers bring mosquitoes, after all, and these birds eat mosquitoes. Their flight patterns are amazing.  Surely, fighter jet designers used Barn Swallows as a pattern.  I welcomed their presence.  I applauded their efforts.

My admiration turned to something darker when a pair of Barn Swallows decided that the garage was a good place to build a nest.

Come on, I hear you ask.  What possible harm could there be in hosting a family of Barn Swallows in your garage?

For one thing, there's the little matter of the mess that birds tend to make.  There are limits to the sort of, er, material, I'm willing to allow on the seat of my tractor. A Pomeranian with a bad attitude is one thing.  Excrement is quite another. Those overhead lights are for illumination, not to provide a pallet for a nest made of mud.

That's right.  Mud.  Look, I'm not fastidious about my car.  We live on a dirt road, for crying out loud!  Still, dirt and mud on the hood of the vehicles that occurs INSIDE the garage, is a bit over the top.  Not to mention bird droppings on the tools hanging on the walls, on the assorted bins holding important things like duck food, homemade compost, seeds, and other stuff that's in that garage.  Furthermore, look at this!

Mr. Barn Swallow on top of a ladder!  What goes up must come down.  Poop is certainly no exception.

Let's let the late, highly revered, greatly missed and irrepressibly perspicacious Lester explain.  Lester in his ineffably calm way would say, "look, it's a garage.  It's your garage.  Just because these birds want to build a nest on the side of an overhead light doesn't make it a good idea.  Run them off. "

Alas, it isn't as easy as it sounds.  Those swallows are stubborn.  Not as stubborn as I am though!  They plop mud on the overhead light, I scrape it off.  Sometimes I get to it while it's still wet!    Heads up!  Swallow spit infused mud incoming!

Now you know why there are so many pictures of me wearing a hat.

Learn more about Barn Swallows here.


  1. When I lived in San Juan Capistrano near the famous Mission the Cliff Swallows always returned on St Joseph's Day (?) they alway built homes on our roof lines.
    Who is the adorable Lester, sweetheart with the white paws. I love him.

    cheers, parsnip

    1. Sadly, Lester is no longer with us. He died several years ago. His nonchalant gumption left it's mark. I'm thinking of getting a bracelet embossed with WWLD (What Would Lester Do) to handle upcoming dilemmas.

      Little known Lester fact: he smelled like Fritos.

    2. Was he part basset hound they smelly like fritos

  2. Lester sounds reasonable but the swallows don't know the difference between the word barn and garage. LOL They look like similar structures. Yes, hats might work.