Friday, January 27, 2017

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 56

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  Something's happened, that has happened before, to the Norway salmon farm industry causing the price of salmon to go way up.

What happened?

A group of owls swooped
down and ate them?
Hostmaster:  incorrect.  Fun fact.  A group of owls is called a parliament.

What happened to the salmon?

Global warming.  Their environment
is too hot for them to survive.

This is a salmon farm.  Surely
the farmer controls the environment.

Hostmaster:  actually this salmon farm is not what most consider a farm.  It's a little netted area in the ocean where people are permitted to raise salmon.  The problem they are having is apparently due to overcrowding.

Back to our question.

Fish rustlers came along in a boat
 and took the salmon?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.  Here's another fun fact.  You'd think a group of salmon might be a school.  It's not.  Apparently a school is a generic group of  fish.  A group of salmon is called a salmon.

Our question.
  The overcrowding caused the
salmon to go berserk.
They broke into rival salmons.
The resulting gang, er, salmon
war wiped them out.

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

Sharks ate them?

What are these salmon farm nets made of?
  And what is a group of sharks called?
Hostmaster:  groups of sharks are called lots of things: gam, grind, pod, shiver...
 They should hire
guard dolphins
to protect the salmon!
I know this one!  A
group of dolphins is
a pod.
Hostmaster:  you guys are never going to get this round's question.  The answer is lice.

A group of lice is called...?

Hostmaster:  a flock.  Anyway.   The sea lice are abundant and they are chewing on the salmon.  Here's something for Cyndi.  A study suggests that man made climate change may have caused a raise in temperatures, helping the flocks of lice to thrive.

That figures.

Hostmaster:  the study also suggests that failure to dump pesticides on the lice in a timely manner caused the lice population to swell.

You OK, Cyndi?
Oh, give her a moment. 
She's throwing up.
Whoa, Cyndi.  I figured you
for someone who skips breakfast, 
or at most, eats one of those thimble
sized containers of yogurt.
Boy, was I wrong! 

It's too bad salmon
don't eat lice off of
each other like
baboons do.
Hostmaster:  they're thinking of putting in some smaller fish to eat the lice.
Hope there's room in the crowded
salmon net farm for a school!
You know, Hostmaster.
This was not a Pop Culture
Hostmaster:  very astute, puke breath.  Looks like you forgot whose in charge here.  The sponsors named the show but I run it.  And in case you forgot, I'm not amiable to anything remotely resembling criticism.  If you are unhappy here, I'm sure Bryan can find an able partner to replace you.
Uh, Hostmaster?
Last week after that second accidental
kitchen fire, my owners surrendered
me to a pound.  Cyndi adopted me.
Hostmaster:  it would be rude to laugh here, wouldn't it?
I'll meet you in the
parking lot!

So ends this round.
Here's an article about the flock
 of lice attacking the salmon of salmon,
 the study that made Cyndi vomit
 is contained therein.
Round  56
Fluffy/Molly   23
Bryan/Cyndi    21

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Mud and His Eyes

Wintertime at the homestead is a chance to get to those indoor chores, like washing walls and  thinning out the file cabinet.  It has been balmy outside, but you can't work the soil, leaving few excuses to avoid that bucket of suds.  Planting time is still months away- the pile of seed catalogues that have appeared in the mailbox, notwithstanding.

As you can see, the grass is rather green for January.  Just out of camera shot, there is an appalling amount of mud.  Clover regularly plays a game called, I am a Racing Greyhound.  Her race track takes quite a beating.

Returning to matters indoors. (Ah, the late great Mabel, she was a gal who appreciated a comfortable easy chair.)  Speaking of easy chairs, The Handsome One will have to take it easy next week.  Those cataracts have got to go.

 Is it true that blue eyed people are more sensitive to light than darker eyed people?  Beats me.  Eye color is genetic, maybe sensitivity is genetic too.  No matter.  A trained doctor will be using a laser. 
Oops!  We don't have a photo of the doctor on file.
Well, one day at a time, one eye at the time.  My markedly feeble abilities as a patientthoughtfultenderkindly nurse will be tested.  I'll give it my best shot though, for THO.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Pop Culture Frenzy, Round 55

Welcome once again to Pop Culture Frenzy.  A few days ago, in many subways around the world, an annual event took place.

What was this event?

Bring your Dog to Ride on
the Subway Day?
Hostmaster:  incorrect.
Open Carry Day?
Hostmaster:  incorrect.  I'm pretty sure subways are gun free zones.
Hug a Stranger on
the Subway Day?

Hostmaster:  incorrect.

Ride the Subway Naked Day?
Hostmaster:  close enough.  People go without pants, though presumably not without underwear.  It's called Pant less Subway Ride.  It started in 2002 in New York.  
They do this in January?
  Are these the same
weirdoes who go
 swimming in the winter?
Polar Bear clubs.  I
did it one year in
Lake St. Clair.  They
give money to charity.
Hostmaster:  some of the pant less riders donate the pants they don't wear on the subway to charity.

I can't stop thinking
about hugging naked
strangers on the subway.

Now you have me wondering.
  What's the most comfortable way
 to open carry when you're naked?
Hostmaster:  in other pants related news.  Some actress wore pants to the Golden Globe ceremony.  She said she did it, not because she doesn't like dresses but to let girls know that self worth is not dependent on what you wear or something.

Evan Rachel Wood was
brave to defy convention
and wear a pants suit
 rather than a gown.
Brave to wear pants?  Did
this Evan hit her head
and think she woke up
in the Victorian Age?
From what I've seen of
that actress, she often goes for
 a butch look.  That's
probably why she
wore pants.

So ends another round. For those
interested, visit these links
for more information on
the pants less subway ride and
the panted award attendee .
Round 55
Fluffy/Molly  23
Bryan/Cyndi   21

Monday, January 9, 2017

A Glowing Anniversary

To celebrate our anniversary, The Handsome One and I usually buy something nifty just for us.  Past purchases include a digital camera, a couch and a Don't Tread on Me flag.  This year, we bought a super duper flashlight.

You see, those scrawny flashlights that serve just fine indoors are of no use to illuminate the woods surrounding the homestead. So we got this fantabulous LED flashlight with ergonomic pistol grip to handle the job.

Now Lily has some gleaming back up.  Those ugly accusations of her being all bark at the dark, will see the light of day, so to speak.  Now, what-the-heck-she-is-barking-at will be on full brilliant display.  Yes, if something is lurking, it will be in our spot light.

What is glowing out there?  It's the little oak!

Lily has prepared a statement.

I wasn't barking at the oak tree, for crying out loud.  Tell you what.  I'll keep barking.  You keep waving your fancy flashlight around.  Together, maybe we can dispel the darkness surrounding us.  Don't let my life's work be in vain.  I'm counting on your collaboration here.

OK Lily.  We got the power of brightness and aren't afraid to use it.  Check out this wall mounted holster!  Team Effulgent is ever at the ready. 

Besides the young oak tree, what have we gleamed upon so far, you ask?

Well, the awesome flashlight has illuminated a couple of deer, and an assorted bunch of nothing. One night though, there was something skulking under a pine tree near the duck house.  With trepidation, I cocked and aimed the super flashlight expecting to behold the evil visage of my nemesis, The Fisher.

It was only a opossum.  A benign presence.  This time...

Next time may be of a different light...